Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lonely




I miss my boy. He lives in Phoenix, I live in Iowa.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, we live on opposite sides of the country. He is currently caring for his ailing mother because his father recently passed away.

Now I have a good job and can afford to travel and see him fairly often. The problem lies with his mother. She is manipulative and controlling and very jealous of me. She wants him to stay home and take his father's place, which disturbs me deeply. Frankly it disturbs him too. I have an upcoming business trip to LA. My boss told me to head out early and visit my boy. I was so excited, and so was he. Then his mother hit the roof. She started crying about how he just came to Iowa in May (for my graduation) and a couple of months before that (for my surgery). She threw a fit! So my boy caved and said he cannot come out to LA for the weekend. I am only asking for three days! He was upset, but he just doesn't want to make her too upset, since she had a cardiac episode two weeks ago. I am so disappointed. I miss him so much it physically hurts sometimes. He promised that as soon as he gets a job, we will take a weekend trip together, but I am afraid he will get a job that requires weekends. AAAHH!

I am going through so many things right now, I need someone here with me. My hormones are out of control and I am crying all of the time. I just want someone to hold me once in a while. Instead I took a job in a nowhere town where I know not a soul. I am so lonely. And we committed to this situation for two years. I am only one month in and I am already ready to break. How am I going to make it two years and stay sane?

3 comments:

denise said...

If you have a few days extra, show up in Arizona! Cardiac episodes or not, his mother is manipulating his feelings. He needs to gently but firmly as possible tell her that he loves her, but he loves you too and there is room in his life for both of you. Everytime he caves, the next time she'll just exhibit worse behavoir until he caves in again. It's the same with toddlers and seniors. Otherwise, he'll be stuck in Arizona until she passes away. harsh but true.

Amber said...

I have to agree with Denise.

I'm sure both your honey and his mom are going through some tough things right now, but there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. It really sounds like he hasn't seperated his life from his mom's, and you and he both are paying the price.

Caving in to her fits does not set a good prescident at all.

denise said...

OMG, somebody agrees with me!! LOL

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