So I took some advice from you guys and decided to accept one of my date offers. So as I sat at the local martini bar, sipping iced tea, waiting for my date, I realized how excited I was just to talk to someone new. Face to face, not at work, just two people getting to know each other. I thought long and hard about how and when to drop the RNY bomb. As i was lost in my thoughts of the night and my longing for a nice martini, I noticed my companion was 20 minutes late. And then 30 and then 40...so I left. I WAS STOOD UP! FOR MY FIRST DATE IN LIKE, FOREVER! Well it was not exactly a date I guess, i don't know exactly how to define what I was planning...but either way, I was left hanging. Sometimes I hate people.
Which leads me to my epiphany of the morning. I LOVE my boy, DJ. He is weird, commitment phobe, but he is kind, caring, smart and has this deep voice that makes my knees quiver even after ten years. He laughs easy, and has beautiful lines at the corners of his eyes that tell the story of years of laughing and smiling. He is calm to my crazy, patient to my immediate gratification, and chill to my freak out. We work. And I love him.
And I woke up to a text message from him this morning. He misses me...and i felt like an ass for even thinking about wanting someone else. I want him, I want him here, but if i can't have that, then I will have to try to patient. So bear with me if I whine and cry. It is hard.
Positive note: Next time I see DJ, I will be soooo different! I can't wait to see the look on his face.