Monday, May 19, 2008

What now?

So I graduated from grad school. But that doesn't tell you the whole story. I was a bit of a late bloomer education wise. I dropped out of undergrad when I was 20 and didn't go back until I was 25. I had a bit of a personal tragedy and I decided that life was too short for regrets and I moved back in with my lovely parents and dove head first into school. In two and a half years, I got my 4 year degree. Then since I already have the momentum, I decided to go on to grad school. So here I am 4.5 years later and I am done. I have a job lined up that I start on July 1. but for some reason I feel so weird. I wake up every morning nervous as all hell. These butterflies are worse than my pre-surgery butterflies.

Maybe it is the combination of the new job and the new body that is leaving me uneasy. I should be happy, but instead I am worried. I wish my boy was here full time. He always knows how to calm me down.

Maybe my nerves are on edge because I am scared shitless of my new job. Not exactly the job itself, but mostly the living situation. I am moving to a small town in Iowa of only 30,000 people and 1 hour from any other towns with more than a few thousand people. And I know no one. I am not a solitary person. I like others to be around. I have a great roommate and she is moving to London, my boy is in Arizona and my family is a five hour drive in St Louis. I don't want to be the lonely cat lady. I want friends and I want my boy here. I am sad today. I am scared today.


Amber said...

I'm so sorry you're having a crummy day. I think it's perfectly natural for you to be feeling scared right now.

I know it's not the same, but please know that you have several of us online folks here for support.


Pam said...

Congratulations on the degree and the new awesome job! It sounds like you are making the moves that you need to take control of your new life after WLS!

As for making new friends in Iowa -- start hanging out on the OH Iowa board, find a WLS support group you can attend there and check the city's website for community organizations you might be interested in. I've lived in my city for 9 years now and it's only been in the last 6 months since my surgery that I've gotten the guts to go out and make new friends. It can be done!


Weight Chart